Representative Matt Gaetz is not a man to be taken lightly. Monday night on Fox News the shallow state warrior intimated that Attorney General Jeff Sessions is a captive of the deep state and that he’s developed Stockholm Syndrome brought on by growing sympathies with his captors.
While some balked at the notion, Matt Gaetz leapt into action. A tip from a deep state, deep throat informant alerted Gaetz to a deep state black site where Sessions was reportedly being held.
Based on this information, Gaetz activated his deep state extraction team comprised of himself, Sean Hannity and Devin Nunes. Dubbed the Tactical Extraction Support, Terror Infiltration and Confinement Linked Evac Services team or TESTICLES for short, the team executed a raid on a northern Virginia condominium purported to be a deep state black site.
TESTICLES windbreakers donned and guns drawn, the shallow state heroes encountered no resistance but were unable to extract prisoner Sessions whose captors had apparently been tipped off and fled to an alternate site.
They did, however, apprehend deep state actors and karaoke duo, FBI agent Peter Strozk and former FBI Lisa Page, who were reportedly engaged in a fierce game of Guitar Hero at the time of the raid. The pair claimed no knowledge of the whereabouts of AG Sessions.