2018 could be a summer without crisis, chaos or false flags if the Crisis Actors Guild and industry negotiators can’t come to a contract agreement by Wednesday at midnight. That’s bad news for conspiracy theorists, truthers, youtubers, and trolls who may have to crawl out of their paranoia caves and enjoy the summer sun. If CAG can’t get a contract, they’re going on strike and that will send the whole blockbuster crisis season into a tailspin. A real one. Not a false flag.
“We’re tired of performing dangerous stunts like flying around on wires or getting bounced on trampolines,” said one CAG member who wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons. “We’ve had enough of getting shot, set on fire, and playing dead for hours and hours without getting credit and without getting fairly compensated.”
“It was shaping up to be the most colossal false flag season in history,” says a crisis producer who goes by the professional name Frank Hindenburg. “We had a sewer main blowing up in New York City flooding Manhattan with seven billion cubic meters of shit. Can you imagine around the clock coverage of The Shit Storm on all the cable news outlets? We were going to do the San Andreas Fault and dump half of California into the Pacific. Finally, to top it off, 2018 was going to be the year we make contact and it wasn’t going to be pretty.”