For years, Ben Stump’s life crept along at its petty pace from day to day with little variation in routine and little hope for escaping its dreariness. Then, suddenly, one miraculous morning, there was change. The sun shone brightly on Ben and old hopes and dreams at once came back into focus. On this morning, Ben read the news that scientists had demonstrated that giant molecules could be in two places at once. It would be only a matter of time, Ben thought, before the miracle of quantum superpositioning would free him to do the same.
In addition to spending the evening on the sofa with the wife watching the most recent episode of The Voice, Ben could also be down at the pub, throwing back cold ones and chain smoking with his friends. While he toiled at his unfulfilling job, he could simultaneously occupy a bar stool, eat peanuts and play scratch off tickets. Even during those monthly hook-ups with his wife, he wouldn’t have to miss one second of the football game as he would also be down at the sports bar bathed in the glow of a hundred big screen televisions. “Oh glorious day,” Ben rejoiced!
However, in short order, dark clouds began to crowd out the sunlight that had momentarily entered Ben’s life. He imagined himself seated on the sofa with Mrs. Stump watching Dancing With The Stars while simultaneously sitting with her in bed watching a Hallmark movie. He couldn’t shake the thought of the pair attending church on Sunday while also spending the day antique shopping. The specter of the monthly hook-up doubled and then doubled again. Horror stacked upon horror! Throwing away the newspaper, Ben vowed never to superposition himself again.